"Bruce "Brute" Anderson recently penned a flattering if somewhat barmy book review in the Spectator. The book in question, The New English Kitchen by Spectator cook Rose Prince, got high praise from the Brute - but then the review went off at a peculiar tangent.
"The Orcadian piss-pot spent paragraph after paragraph praising Lord Salisbury (aka Lord Cranborne) and his pig-breeding enterprise.
"Why so? Because over the new year Anderson gatecrashed a Salisbury family holiday in Italy and infuriated them so much with his boorish drunken behaviour that he was barred from the house. Despite much banging on doors and several pleading phone calls, the resolute Salisburys refused to let the odious Brute back in.
"Anderson is running short of grandees whose hospitality he can abuse: only a few months ago the Eye revealed a hideous incident which earned him a lifetime ban from Lord Hesketh's house in Northamptonshire. Will shameless brown-nosing in the Spectator get him back on the Salisbury guest list?"
Not in New Orleans: that city is founded on laziness, irresponsibility and lawlessness."