Monday, August 29, 2011
At What Age did You Realise You Were Different?
Originally posted on Angels, Transgendered forum
I don't think i was very different early on - I only knew that I would firstly quite like to be a girl like my sister and secondly be able to wear what she wore. that was aged about 5 or 6 i think. then a few years later (aged 8 or 9 i started playing dressing up, with my sister, without parental supervison. i started wearing purely the gender correct stuff but found it boring. So started slipping on the dresses which fit me. My sister thought it was great even remarking that i just looked like a slightly boyish girl - and she knew a few. I found it exciting - not sexually, but somehow fulfilling. i was happy to see myself looking like a girl as if my external image finally matched my internal image; luckily i was quite a feminine looking boy sometimes being taken for a girl when just being myself. And that was when i started feeling different - the guilt and everything began then. but above all, at that point I desperately wanted to be a girl, and even dreamt about being a girl.
After that i took every opportunity to put on first my sisters clothes, and later, my mum's stuff - and she had some lovely skirts going back as far as the early 60s some of it.
I experimented with tights, tops, skirts, dresses etc. But of course it all began to get a bit sexual during puberty. sometimes I got a little too excited...